biting the bullet

after a very sobering review of my financial situation (LOTS of college loan debt) and a long talk with monica (she is more supportive than a sports bra) i've decided to apply for teaching positions at universities and top-tier private high schools nation-wide.

it's been fun researching the job openings available and imagining myself at all these different schools. i've put together a curriculum vitae that i think is very impressive and competitive except for that minor issue of never having taught at a university level before. i have a couple of powerful letters of recommendation from nancy houfek (the head of voice and speech at a.r.t.) and thomas kail (my dear friend and director of in the heights on broadway) and more coming from debbie mcwaters (founder/artistic director of btp), ron piretti (head of acting at BTP, fight director for in the heights, and professor at marymount manhattan college), and ann reinking (nuff said).

i love teaching, and i think i would/will have a ball doing it year-round. i have lost no love for acting (although maybe a little for the acting 'industry') and plan to pursue it, professionally or not, wherever i wind up, for the rest of my life.

the bottom line is: i have a terrific amount of expenses, and no forseeable way to make ends meet in new york as an actor. i am lucky to have an avenue that i love and can pursue which can put me in the position to make a salary. now i have to be lucky enough to be offered a job!

if i don't find a good match, i will remain in new york, attempt to defer my loans further, continue to pursue acting, and apply for teaching jobs as they become available.

it's scary to think about beginning a new arm of my wonky career path, but also fun. we'll see what happens!

in the heights opening

on sunday morning monica and i made our way back to new york (with help from cousin laura!) in order to attend the opening night festivities for 'In the Heights' on broadway.

anybody who's reading this knows what 'in the heights' means to me- i saw lin's hastily created one-act version at wesleyan during my senior year. i got my hands on a copy of the soundtrack from that production. after tommy, anthony, john, and i had created back house productions the following year, johnny and i tried to impress upon anthony and tommy how talented lin is, and made the case that we should definitely try to 'do something' with him once he graduated from wesleyan himself. finally, i put the cd in tommy's hands and encouraged him to listen to it.

6 years later, 'in the heights,' directed by tommy, written by and starring lin, opened on broadway to great fanfare. the intervening time was YEARS of hard work, workshop after workshop, presentation after presentation, auditions, rehearsals, phone calls, cheaply created wine and cheese spreads to make potential investors feel at home, and for tommy and lin, countless, innumerable hours of poring over the script or a keyboard, abject devotion to continuing the show's evolution.

in the early years, i was there as a co-director, tommy and i teaming up to make the workshops productive, to direct actors. but there were too many cooks in the kitchen, and tommy's vision was much more long-sighted than mine- he has a talent for taking the difficult steps (such as cutting songs and plot-lines entire, no matter their popularity) and focusing on the paths that will take a project ultimately to a better place. for the next couple of years i was happy just to act as a minor producer, a supporter really, doing whatever i could to make the workshops happen, to help tommy and lin and bill (our orchestrator) in their process. i listened to new rap lyrics and said 'heck yeah!' or hauled huge bundles of bottled water from staples to the theatre, or threw my shoe (which was our tradition) after a performer nailed a solo. back in those days, we didn't even have a drummer, so i would do my best to tap out latin beats on the baseboard in the corner of the theatre while lin worked out a rap-narration transition. i read stage directions at the readings, and fulfilled what were then minor roles (sonny in the bodega, who is now the funniest part of the show, hands-down, thanks to robin de jesus), and clapped harder than anyone when the presentation was over.

eventually, i backed off entirely, the show was moving forward, and i certainly was not going to be in its way. my role had really morphed into 'fan,' and there was no specific job appropriate for me as i continued my own personal pursuits.

but i didn't feel any less like a proud papa on sunday night, and i don't regret ANYthing about my trajectory with the show. i was there to help it get started, and that makes me as proud as i am about anything in my life. and i sat there in the house and watched as several people i love dearly had their dreams come true. and, the show is incredible.

we got into new york in the early afternoon and i learned that the start time for the show was 6:30! i originally thought i wouldn't be able to make the opening, due to my current run of 'julius caesar.' but we inexplicably had no shows that sunday, and i called tommy about a week and a half out to see if there was still room for me. a seat at a broadway opening is a coveted item, and i was fully prepared to be denied. but they had one earmarked for me, always had, and hadn't released it yet. but they only had one, not another for monica. she was, however, invited to the party afterwards at chelsea piers. well, at about four, a call from tommy confirms the cancellation of a friend of his, and that there's an extra ticket for monica if she wants.

we were delighted, but immediately went into emergency mode. we would need to meet anthony for dinner before the show, and then would be going right to the party after the show, which meant less than an hour to prepare for the evening. no problem for me, but, you don't expect a fabulous and gorgeous woman like monica to go to the latin event of the year on an hour's notice. we were like a well-oiled machine- she did her hair and make-up, we picked up some fake diamonds around the corner, and borrowed some shoes from her mom's place down the street. did i say shoes? i mean hot wine-colored cole haan peep-toe pumps. i learn something every day.

the crowds at the show were insane. i don't know why, but it felt twice as crowded as a typical sold-out show, which i know is impossible. maybe it was the fabulous outfits and all the industry networking that slowed everything down. we had to rendezvous with people at the hotel edison across the street just to find each other. (the hotel ed became an indispensable intermission getaway too- we never would have relieved our bladders if we'd stayed in the theatre!)

the show: nuts. each character got two minutes of applause on their entrance. they just had to stand there, frozen in a moment, and wait for the cheering to subside. the energy was incredible. it was, for many, a broadway debut, and all had loved ones in the audience. showstopper after showstopper and people went hoarse from screaming.

at the end, after more copious applause, and tears, lin invited the production team onstage, designers, choreographer, etc... and tommy. my hands stung from clapping so hard.

afterwards, we missed the free shuttles to chelsea piers, so we took cabs. inside was a twenty-piece latin salsa band, open bars everywhere you look, and smorgasbords of latin foods. there had to be close to 2000 at the party. it was impossible to find anyone, and, after a couple rounds of food and drink, monica and i were about to leave when we finally found the pocket that had tommy and his family, and lin, and a steady stream of admireres demanding hugs and photographs.

lin gave me a huge hug. he grabbed onto my arm and said, "i'm gonna hold on to you for a while, i don't know who half these people are." it was clearly overwhelming. he couldn't get more than two sentences out to anyone before someone new was tapping him on the shoulder. i managed to get a bread pudding in his hands, cause i was worried he wasn't getting a chance to eat anything! i turned my back for a moment, and he had been whisked away again. later i found out that he'd solved his problem of too much hand-shaking-not-enough-fun-having by holding court on the dance floor. if you wanted to congratulate him, you had to do it in time with some serious salsa hot-stepping!

monica and i eventually made our way home, and although it was freezing in new york by the water, i was warmed by two things: 1. the little hot chocolates they were handing out at the exit, and 2. the words i remembered lin saying into my ear as we hugged:

"this is all because of you, you know that, right?"

even though it's not necessarily true (talents like lin and tommy would and will shine, with our without my intervention), it was music to my heart.